"Draw me after you, let us make haste."
Lord, draw me up after you, and help me follow your quick steps up the holy mountain. Let us make haste, the time is short.
I'm happy to say that my prayers have not been in vain. The Lord has drawn me up after him, and the vehicle of my sanctification has been my ministry on the streets. In fact, I have been the great beneficiary of my own evangelization efforts! I only wish I could say that those on the street have benefited as much.
One way to witness my spiritual growth is to consider some of the changes in my perception of the ministry and it's challenges. One shift in perception concerns how I inwardly respond to verbal abuse. When I first began the apostolate, I was mildly disturbed by hostile stares or angry shouts from passing cars, but I would consciously offer it up to God the Father as a small sacrifice. Then after a few months I ceased to be disturbed, and walked on in peace--happy to be of some use to God, but sorrowful for the sake of the angry person. But yesterday God gave me the grace to take things a little deeper. A shrill voice yelled from a passing car, "Go to hell!" And for the first time I realized, "Lord, I'm not worthy to be despised for your sake. Who am I to be given such a great grace as to be despised for doing your will?" That thought had never occurred to me before, but now it seemed so obvious. I used to think I was a splendid candidate to suffer for our Lord, how could I have been so presumptuous?